Greedy Gimmies

“I read a Berenstain Bears book to my children titled The Berenstain Bears Get a Case of the Gimmies”. I often think about that book when I hear real life stories about what happens in families when it’s time to distribute the “goods” after a loved one dies. A case of the greedy gimmies isn’t pretty.  Possessions can bring out the worst in people. Don’t be one of those greedy people! My mother, Nonnie, believed that we would all work it out when the time came. She also believed in making lists. Many lists. She documented pieces of jewelry and somewhat labeled to whom should receive each item; she documented pieces of furniture and art and the historical value of said item; and she often spoke of her “memorabilia”. But in the end, there was still some guesswork. While Nonnie’s intentions were good, she was (in all honesty) not very good at being organized. She was a known pack rat. The distribution and clean-up of her possessions took lots of time and effort. The good news was that my brother and I were in sync with no catching a case of the “Greedy Gimmies”. My father, Boo, was also honest about what he wanted to hang on to. Imagine these horror stories:

  • Siblings or children fighting over a loved one’s personal possessions- who deserves to get what?
  • Items disappearing (confescated) from the family home by family members without any notice to others.
  • A distribution list found after the fact with no way to retrieve the items and adhere to the wishes of the departed.
  • A distribution list found that is many years old and not relevant -yet causes discomfort and friction.
  • Unconfirmed memories of  what Mom or Dad “promised me “.

You can alleviate the case of the Greedy Gimmies. Plan!  Write it down. Keep it current. And, by all means, communicate with someone that you have made a distribution list and where it is located. Some useful ideas when there are no specific instructions for distribution of possessions:

  • Set out a table  (or two) of all of your loved one’s possessions in categories (jewelry, art, clothes, memorabilia).
  • Roll the dice for the order for choosing the  items amongst the family members;  perhaps oldest goes first ?
  • One by one, choose a specific item to keep until only the “unwanted”  items remain.

Then, with the remaining items:

  • Set up a table and leave the closet doors open for all to see.
  • Ask and allow all of your loved one’s friends to pick out a special item(s) they wish to keep;  a great final gift!
  • Separate the rest into 2 piles: one pile for donations to consignment shops for resale or donations to Goodwill Industries and/or The Salvation Army or the local donation center and the second remaining pile goes in the trash.
  • Take the first pile to the donation centers. Don’t leave it in a pile to be dealt with at a later date.
  • Alert your garbage collector that you will have extra items for removal-they will appreciate the heads up!

You can stop a case of the Greedy Gimmies in your family. You just need to plan ahead. If you have any great “Greedy Gimmie” stories to share, I would love to hear them.

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