“Have you ever tried to write an obituary? It certainly was not a writing assignment that I had in college. There are many reasons why writing an obituary is inherently difficult:

•  It is like writing a final exam when you haven’t studied for it.
•  You are usually composing an obit when you are emotionally bereft.
•  The pertinent data to be included is generally scattered around;  in the attic, the basement, at the bottom of  a messy desk drawer, or dependent upon the vagaries of a relatives memory.
• Families may disagree as to the content.
• Families may disagree as to the personalization and wording chosen to describe your loved one.
• The high probability of leaving something or someone out.

My brother, Todd, wrote our mother’s obituary and did a great job, but it wasn’t easy and he writes for the Asbury Park Press!  We almost forgot to include Nonnie’s only sister’s name, even after what seemed like proofreading it 800 times. Then there’s the task of determining which newspapers to publish the Obit in. Not easy if you don’t reside in the same town. And, finally, the newspaper editors can, and will, slice and dice your cleverly crafted sentences from the Obit as they  frame their publications or shorten it depending upon whether or not your loved one’s descriptive life is worthy” of “the big write up” and a photo. Here are some suggestions for you to ponder.

• Write a draft obituary for yourself.
• Ask (or help) your parents to write a draft obituary.
• Choose someone who can write well enough to compose or edit your draft.
• Prepare a list of biographical data with accurate dates and names spelled correctly.
• Include birth date and place of birth.
• Choose your favorite photo.
• List the news publications for your obituary.
• List the names of family members who predeceased you.
• List your relatives names and their current addresses.
• List your education, degrees, honors, awards, and military service.
• List your hobbies, memberships, affiliations, charitable work, etc.
• Choose a charity for donation.
• List any pertinant or special data or story you want added,  but that your family may not know about or may forget to include.
• Proofread it 800 times.

Why write your obit? Because you can and your kids will be grateful. Read about this lady and what she did!  Imagine the look on her husband’s face when that package was opened. Do you have any interesting  tidbits to add to Obit Lit?    ””