When my mom died, as traumatic an event as it was experiencing her sudden death, I had no regrets.
I must admit that I feel pretty happy, and fortunate, that I can say that.
Mom and I spoke almost every day, or, at a minimum, at least twice a week. Sundays was always a good time for us to catch up on each others comings and goings. We were very connected, except when I was a teenager of course!
At the end of our phone call, we always told each other " I love you". So when she died, nothing was left unsaid between us. At least not for me. I only wish I had one more conversation with her-I would have asked her the following question:
"What am I supposed to do now that you are no longer here in my life?"
I think that moms answer would have been: "You will go right on living without me, but you will never forget me." Mom also always said "This too shall pass" whenever anything went wrong in my life. She was right about that. Time heals a lot of things.
Do you have any unresolved issues with an aging parent?
Have you put off sharing a story you wanted to or needed to tell? Or postponed asking for forgiveness thinking that eventually the air, or even the elephant in the room, wwould clear out if you just ignored it?
Don't wait. You never know when the inevitable will happen! The time is now to set all your cares and regrets on the table and clear the slate.
Bronnie Ware wrote a book titled "The Five Regrets of the Dying". There are common themes that are articulated by the dying -ones you will say "A Ha" to, and others that you may not have considered. Here they are:
1. I wish I had the courage to live a life being true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I had not worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I had let myself be happier.
Honestly, I was surprised at the number one regret and had not considered number five as one of the top five regrets.
Now that you have a list before you of potential regrets you might express as you exit this world, what regret (or regrets) do you want to change before you die?
Because none of us actually knows when death will occur, we should start thinking about making some changes in our lives right this very minute with the ultimate goal of erasing all that are stated on this list of regrets.
Not only do we have the opportunity to make changes within ourselves, we have the opportunity to change our relationships with our parents, family and friends. Let's get started!
Share with me if you have a story of regret.